Stock Crashes As Max Eider Release Looms

Max Eider has been described as 'casually great' (Robin Gibson, Sounds), 'eloquent, bold and moving' (Robert Chalmers, the Independent), and 'one of the world's most dyspeptic, yet insightful, chroniclers of the human experience' (J. Eric Smith, Metroland, New York). Pat Fish, who collaborated with Eider on and off for more than 20 years under the name the Jazz Butcher, recently wrote: 'Max Eider is a dark master of melancholy melody and the poetry of languidly elegant despair … As it happens, he is also one of the most startlingly brilliant electric guitarists ever to have emerged from the UK.'

'Blah,' says Pokerback. 'But is he in the news? Does he have a heroin habit? Is he going out with Kate Moss? Frankly I'm beginning to doubt Maximilian could get himself promoted if he were shagging Paul Wolfowitz. I realize Ms Moss – or even Mr Wolfowitz – may not currently be available, at least to Maximilan, but anyone can develop a drugs problem, for heaven's sake. It's just a matter of application.'

Rumors of tensions between Eider and Pokerback were apparently confirmed last week when Pokerback announced a further delay to the release of Eider's new album. Asked for a comment, Eider was unable to complete a sentence without a stream of obscenities.

'We have an organic approach here at Tundraducks,' says Pokerback. 'You may have heard of "viral" marketing. Our style could be more accurately characterized as fungal. Picture, if you will, a mould gradually spreading over a rancid cheese. Or a nasty case of athlete's foot. Or that extraordinary rash I developed during my tour of duty in the Far East all those years ago. Ah, happy days! What was the question again?'

Eider's new album features artwork by the cartoonist Dave Coverly (Speed Bump) and renews his long association with the equally fabulously talented June Miles-Kingston (The Modettes, Fun Boy Three, Everything But The Girl, The Communards, Jimmy Somerville etc.) on backing vocals. 'Frankly Ms Miles Kingston could make anyone sound good,' says Pokerback, 'as Maximilian's album clearly illustrates. Well, what?'

For all Pokerback's insouciance, the entrepreneur also has high praise for his star artiste's latest work. 'We describe it as a "landmark" record, though frankly I've no idea what that means,' Pokerback says, staring vaguely out of the window. 'Words such as "stunning", "memorable", "poignant" and "mordant" have also been used, at least by Eider himself. Personally, I haven't listened to any popular music since Bing retired. Cheers.'

Augustus Pokerback is 94.

maxeider.com

myspace.com/maxeider

 

Max Eider

'ACCORDING TO ONE version of the story (as told by Pat Fish), Maximilian Theodore Eider III was born in southern Bohemia, the son of a count. At least I think that was the word Fish used. Maximilian the first, Eider's grandfather, was a favorite of the Emperor Franz Joseph, though Fish claims that the old man was best known for having invented an invisibility machine. This may be a preposterous fiction, of course, but one thing is certain: after Princess Sophie's jewels went missing, Max's grandfather was never seen again.'

At this point Augustus Pokerback, Supremo of Tundraducks Records, pauses to dribble meditatively into a whisky and soda. 'Eider himself is vague on the subject,' he continues eventually, 'but he has described the rumor that he was in fact born in southern suburban London, the son of a civil servant, as "pure speculation".'

What seems to be beyond dispute is that Eider met Fish in Oxford at the end of the 70s. And the rest, as they say, is a blur. 'There's no doubt about it: in those days we were contenders,' says Eider. 'With the possible exception of Mark E Smith, we came across no one who was more single-mindedly focused on getting hammered.'

All the same, during this period the Jazz Butcher released four studio albums, on the Glass Records label: Bath of Bacon (1983), A Scandal in Bohemia (1984), Sex and Travel (1985) and Distressed Gentlefolk (1986). Meanwhile the band toured continuously, mainly in Europe and the US. And what happens if you put a bunch of drunks in a van for months at a time and give them all the booze they can swallow? In this case, what happened was what came to be known as the 'Zurich incident'. 'It was more of an accident really,' Eider said later. 'I have never attacked him knowingly.' As for an earlier occasion in Valencia which left Fish requiring several stitches to his upper lip, Eider is adamant. 'That really was an accident,' he says. 'I just span round with the guitar, and his face was in the way. Mind you,' he adds, 'he had it coming.'

Following the Zurich Incident, Eider returned to London and set to work on his first solo album, The Best Kisser in the World, which was released in 1987 on the LA-based label Big Time Records.

'It was an instant classic,' says Pokerback. 'Which is just as well, really, as the company went under not long afterwards.'

Eider seems to have reacted by sulking for a decade or so, though he did put in an appearance on a couple of albums and US tours with David J, the Bauhaus/Love and Rockets stalwart and former Jazz Butcher bass player. Then, towards the end of the 90s, and rather to their own surprise, Eider and Fish began to perform together once again. 'It was more of a holiday club than a band,' Eider recalls. 'If someone asked nicely, and we liked the sound of the destination, and we'd got nothing better to do – which we invariably hadn't – we'd get on a plane.' A live album, Glorious and Idiotic (2000), followed on the legendary New-York-based ROIR label, and a studio album of new material by Fish and Eider, Rotten Soul, was released on Vinyl Japan in the same year. Vinyl Japan also re-released The Best Kisser and then a new Eider solo album, Hotel Figueroa (2001), recorded in a warehouse in Los Angeles.

'It was an instant classic,' says Pokerback. 'Which is just as well, really, as the company went under not long afterwards.

'You couldn't accuse Maximilian of being prolific,' Pokerback continues. 'Some might even call him bone idle. So that was about it until we happened to run into each other one wet Monday afternoon in Bradley's Spanish Bar in Hanway Street. To be honest, although I'd been toying with the idea of going into the entertainment business in my retirement, I'd been thinking more along the lines of a lap-dancing club. But my cardiologist put his foot down.' He sighs. 'And so Tundraducks was born. Max claims it was my idea, but the truth is neither of us can remember quite how it happened.'

Max Eider III: Back in the Bedroom is released on October 1.

Max Eider
Max Eider III: Back in the Bedroom

 

I Want

Dirty Old Man

Closing Time

For further information contact Augustus Pokerback at tundraducks@btinternet.com